More on Mrs. Friedlander

Elva sent me an email with a link to Mrs. Friendlander's obituary in the San Diego Union-Tribune. From Elva...

I sent you the obit for Mrs. Friedlander a while ago. So sorry that I didn't have a chance to include words or anything else. I had just a few minutes and I wanted to send it to you asap.I didn't know if you two even remembered her. Since you do, then I know that you two must feel sad. She was a good person and she cared very much for you two.

Here is the obit:

FRIEDLANDER, CORINNE FRANCES 1931 to 2007 Corinne died peacefully in her sleep on January 4th after a courageous four year battle with Lou Gehrigs Disease. She was born in Ray, North Dakota on December 22, 1931, shortly later moved with her family to Kalispell, Montana, and in 1941 moved to San Diego where she spent many years; graduated from Hoover High School in 1950, married, raised her family and was foster mother to many children. She married her loving husband Kenneth in 1953 and spent 51 years together until he went to Heaven in October of 2004. She is survived by her two daughters Sally and Susan, her sons- in-law, Craig and Craig, Foster daughter and son, Kristina and Nicholas, his wife Laurel, grandchildren, Duane, his wife Erika, Devin, Darin, Teresa, Dilan and Chloe, great-grandchildren, Yazmine and Kenneth, her sister Jeanne, nieces and nephews and many friends in San Diego and New Mexico. She had a wonderful excitement for life and was filled with great love and devotion to her family and friends. She had sparkling blue eyes and unbelievable courageous and dignity. Our dear Mom, Granny and friend will be missed so very much. A celebration of her Life will be held today, February 8th, at 2:00 p.m. at First Lutheran Church, 867 S. Lincoln Avenue, El Cajon, Ca 92020. In lieu of Flowers family requests contributions in Memory of Corinne to the ALS Association, www.alsa.org.

I learned a few things today.

First, I've always misspelled her last name. That is strange because I distinctly remember being taught by her how to spell it when I went to school. Even though we were foster children, we were told to use their last name as ours. I remember being told to spell it "Free...", as in "Freed Men". I can't figure out why I would so clearly remember being taught by her to spell it that way since it is now clear to me that was wrong.

Perhaps she told me NOT to spell it "Free..." and got it all backwards. Wouldn't be the first time in life. Dyslexia strikes again!

I see Susie is now called Susan. We used to call her Susie. Perhaps that was her nickname and I just never knew better.

I noticed that her service was held at a Lutheran church. I didn't know she was Lutheran. Perhaps her's is a more fundamental version of Lutheranism than I experienced going to Grace Lutheran in Santa Barbara with the Larsons. I sure remember the hellfire and brimstone at the Friedlander's church. When I got older and reflected on that that church, I had guessed it was Pentecostal, Evangelical, or Baptist. I knew they weren't Jehovah Witnesses because they celebrated birthdays and Christmas... but I knew they weren't too far from that sect.

I always thought she was from Tennessee because that is where her sister was from. It also meshed with my theory that she was from a strick Pentecostal upbringing. Guess I was wrong.

Funny the obit mentions her blue eyes. I remember them well.

Elva. I'm sorry to have to tell you that neither Janice or I feel sad. We feel nothing. As I said in my previous post, I'm glad that she can't screw up any more kids. I will concur that she did care for us. She did the best she could considering how her much own fears and religious convictions dictated her life.

It strikes me as hypocritical that she was not above lying to the authorities about you, claiming you would show up drunk to visit your kids, when in fact you never drink. Perhaps in her mind she felt that she was protecting us from you. Perhaps she felt you were not good enough, or righteous enough. Who knows? But being a hypocrite is what she was about.

I hope Corrinne will make peace with herself and remove the shackles of shame, guilt, and fear that so defined her.

So all is well that ends well, eh? I for one wouldn't change a thing if it meant that I would not have ended up being adopted by Roger and Toni Larson. Sometimes you have to go through hell to get to heaven.